well... ytd at church we were asked to think of what would my life be if i wasnt a christian... hmmm... while others had a lot of comments of me... i guess i couldnt help but think bout it myself... well for starters... i would probable dye my hair red haha.... ya... i always wanted to do that haha... dunno y hehe... n among others... guess mayb i will b spendin more time wif my frenz cos i will b free on sats... who noe??? i may become a clubbing freak as well haha... wonder if that is scary haha... but 1 thing i noe is that i will nvr turn to smoking hah... y??? cos i totally hate smoking... n i guess m a little allergic to it ahahaha.... but guess... if i wasnt a christian... i may never noe many of the close frenz i hav made today as a result....n who noes wad my life wif my mom would have been now?? i nvr wanna find out... well... i guess wad i can say is that life is pretty fast for me now... especially wif my preparations for uni...

but like wad mr koh say... i gotta prepare safety nets... n ya... guess i m also thinkin bout this uni in the us... called purdue... well.. i dunno if its God plans for me to leave the country... but i don wanna think bout it... i juz wanna leave everything to God to decide... juz do my best... ya... well guess thats it for now... gotta go do my last min checks for stuff... ya... n hopefully i can pass my test... damn scared bout it lah... haiz... chiong lah..

sometimes i juz wonder.... in life... how often do we get to choose n how often do we get chosen.... seems pretty complicated to me.... do i find myself drowning at times wen it des happen?
between wad i want n givin up wad i want the most... do i hav the power to act? in times of crisis... r u the person that u think u truly are?? if i were to b in danger.... do u save yourself or the one closest to u... in the end its all juz a qn of wad to do isnt it? turning to God??? turning to self? how does 1 truly determine if it is one that wil b regrettable or fruitful? m i truly growing? m i truly changing? or m i overwhelmed by it that i find myself lost in the turmoils of a lifetime..

haiz... sry... i juz needed to get those thoughts out of my head.... now bak to business... hmmm for e.g. i finally decided on a course... which is sociology... haha... yup its more of a social sci sub... many say its better to go overwseas for it... but truly i m not sure of wad kinda choice wil i make... guess still lookin about... sis wanping once asked me... do i think god wants me to go overseas... n i m still pondering over it... although i feel the ans is somewhat not wad i want to hear... but on the bright side... apart from findin out i did badly for my As... i also failed my ippt again.... grr... u noe wad... i FIRMLY PROCLAIM THAT I CANNOT JUMP FOR NUTS!!!! i accept it as a reality of life... grr.... but on the brighter side... i did well for the rest... swimming... psoc... haha n i finally got a marksman for my shootin haha... kena pressured by marvin n nic... grrr...

welll finally i bookin out on fridays haha so thats somethin to b glad bout haha.... welll thats it for now... tume to turn in haha... well nitez n cya ppl....

i didnt wanna believe it... neither did i hope that it would turn out like tis... but i guess that it had to happen eventually.... well... i screwed up my A lvls... which pretty much means uni is sorta like closed to me.... i kept askin God to giv me the strength to move on.... to understand y tis had to happen... was it a test or pure assurance that my decision 2 yrs back was a really bad one... wadever it is... gotta treat it as a lesson... well... today talked to lots of ppl bout wad can b my exit pt frm here.... but guess still haven decided yet.,... it feels like all is in a mess... like i m in this hase n movin forward... not havin the simplest idea of where is my life headed... i guess i m also too tired to think.... nw juz takin things 1 step at a time.... 1 thing i hold on to is this statement...
y do we fall??? so that we can pick ourself up again.... even though i m nt sure how to do it... i sure m goona try... i juz pray i wil hav the strength to stand n not run away..... these thots echoing in my head.... wen r they gonna stop?? i got no idea... guess till i finally fu=ind a solution...i guess tis sayin is thru den... i gotta change... its not who i m underneath... but wad i do that defines me... how true tis is.... n i guess tis is where my life will b headed.............outcome=unknown............................................

haiz... life is becomin so routine and boring lately... i cant begin to explain it... well...ytd at church i learnt wwsd... known as what would satan do haha.... so its like cool... n i felt i learnt a little somethin.... n once again goin into camp again.... aft all these times i guess i m juz becomin to lazy to blog sinc like i got no creative juices haha... so yup... forget it.... later my blog bedcome like evan haha.... who noes... finally gone thru bout 1/2 of my bmt... so ya that is somethin to b happy about....
welll huess that is all i wanna share bout tis time haha.. got some matters really gotta think bout now... juz hope i will make the right ones haha... anyway... nick is finally at shanghai haha so all e best dude... well cya ppl...