recently i was watching this movie... its called majestic... featuring non other than the yes man star Jim carrey haha.... well as to how the whole movie runs, i m not too sure... but the gist of it goes along the lines of this guy(carrey) being accused of being a communist and being brought on trial... but juz b4 that... he gets into an accident n ends up in a totally laidback town with amnesia(the sickness where someone loses all his memories??) yup

I guess during the movie.... it got me thinking bout many many many things... i guess i wonder... if supposing someone were to lose his memory... den be introduced into an environment where apparenty ppl think of him as being a totally good person... where b4 that... he waas somethin sort of like a jerk... or how abt a person who made many bad decisions b4 gettin amnesia... someone who feels that his life is like a total waste... how will he feel now? will he have a totally new personality>? even becoming a better person than he ever thought possible?? If someone was able to forget everything bout his past... the good times... the bad times... the regretful instances.... juz how will he be changed as a person??

Or for that matter a fact... supposing that someone is a christian... but due to the losing of memories... he forgets that... wat will happen? i guess there are many possibilities for such things... ..... Sure the person may end up being diff person... or in the movies... either becoming a hero or the villain... .... den i guess the next question really triggers my interest... supposing after some time being a different person.. mayb living a more meaningful life... freed from the chains of the past... and he suddenl rmbs who he was in the past....knowing juz wad kind of a man he is... in other words... wen our past catches up with us... which life will that person choose? who he was b4? or who he is after... which identity will he choose? which will inadvertly affect his entire life... friends... family... r/s.... Even who he believes in himself as a person...

haha... sometimes... i wonder... if i were to lose all my memories in the past... den mayb become an entirely different person... forgetting all the ppl in my past... my religion.. my character.... my personality... my regrets.... my accomplishments... my strengths.... my weaknesses... being an entirely new person... what will i do? if i were to remember my past once more... juz wad will i choose? to remember my past? and accept who i was b4 n turn back to the old me that the ppl around me rmb me as? or will i choose to forget who i was in the past.. n move on... staying as the person who i have now become? whether good or bad? n with wad i choose.. how will my life change again..........haha of course that is somethin that not every1 really wanna experience... but when such circumstances befall us... what will we choose? guess its a mystery that can nvr be answered.......................................................................................

haha back to post once more...... this week can be said to a week i m always looking forward to haha.... guess u can call it a week of freedom haha.... being the only one at home n all haha.... cos my mom n sis went overseas so woooohooooo..... feels good haha.....

its funny how ppl like freedom so much that sometimes, its worth fighting n dying for haha.... sometimes i wonder if human nature is all abt being free?? we are always looking for ways to free ourselves..... even the bible is about being set free..... like a bird in the sky or even a fish in the ocean.... i guess all i can say ts that its somethin ppl r willing to give up everything for... haha

haha welll another reason to rejoice in my blog today is that finally.... after so many failures n such... this morning.... i FINALLY PASSED MY IPPT haha.... i was like woah.... over the world... so of u might ask... y so happy? its juz some stupid physical test!!!! but haha... to me... it showed how hard work n hard training finally helped me pass all stations... including my dreaded SBJ haha... n i really really really gotta thank God for tis triumph..... for without his help... i wont even be close to passing haha.... welll thats all the crapping for today... n heres wishing Marvin a Happy Birthday!!!!! n Nick... although 2 days in adv haha.... Happy Birthday!!! well thats all folks... till nxt time haha....

haha came back from hong kong & finally got the time to blog once more lol.... well i guess for my hk trip, i gotta say it was pretty fun since it was the 1st time i went overseas without my family lol... & i experienced many things & of course saw many things as well... haha...

If there is 1 thing i miss bout hk... it gotta be the food & the cheap stuff haha.... i mean it... u can like eat food over there that is cheaper if not the same price as Singapore food, but the quality regardless of the price is always there haha.... so i can say i was very impressed... haha not to forget that wen i went to Macao, the casinos there were a real eye opener haha... casinos like the Venetian, or even Sands... there were like so many nice things to see haha..... well if any of u go to hk.. don forget to try the egg tarts there haha n the pork chop burger haha... i simply loved it beyond compare haha....

thinking back... its now november haha... n i m really really glad hah... cos i m almost at my 1 yr mark in NS haha... so ya... almost halfway thru it all man... hmm.. its gonna be a quiet 2 months now... haha... i juz hoped that i can spend my end of the year doing quality stuff haha.... kike planning my leave... cos gotta clear... not that i have many days to clear haha.... well seems that the A lvls is almost over... so haha... i m sure my frenz out there are pretty glad at this point... i noe i was last yr at this point haha... as for the results haha.... i guess i juz left it at that till the time came haha... but well.. wadzz past is past...so cant brood over it haha... ok guess thats all the things i can think of sayin now haha...cya

hiya... so wad can i say bout these past few weeks? tiring haha... on sat we signed the covanent... n well i really hopes this bonds the cell grp more than before haha.... but i guess i can really see the bond growing... for example.. we start hanging out beyond church timings... many a time proposed by shi feng... ms 4.0... n seriously the last person i will ever expect haha... on sun i can happily say that i conquered another milestone... haha... n i m glad that i did not run away at the last min which seriously i was planning to big time haha...

wad is the milestone??? well its taking part in the real run haha... n i was glad to say i completed the 15km run haha.... although the timing was not impressive.. a humbling 1 hr 46 mins... but i was really proud that i managed to run it finish haha.... o n to add to that... on Monday i went to play the arcade, actually the hunting game which the guys r well aquainted with haha... n i managed to get 1st n 3rd position in the wolf ranking... marvin if u r reading this... thks for introing the game haha... n nick... erm... better luck nxt time??? haha....

haha guess the topic i was wondering tis week was the fact of whether everythin that happens happens by the choices we make/?? or was it alr determined by God's will... i mean seriuosly sometimes i find sermons rather confusing... i mean supposing everything we leave it up to his way... that is wad we agree on in placing since we dont noe wad happens the nxt day.... n wen things go well we always take it for granted... but wen we make mistakes n bad unexpected things happen... i mean.. did it happen due to our choice?? as christians we question ourselves,... was that God's will for me?? for that bad thing to happen? or whether my choice altered His will n the way things turned out? n if it comes to a point that we think like this... can we say that we really leave things to God? or are we the ppl responsible for our destiny??

haha.... guess its somethin i don think i will find an ans to soon... but well i welcome any ideas on this haha.... well thats all for now... n hopefully i do ok for my ippt tmr haha...(fingers crossed)

after a long break here i am to blog again...... the reason i m blogging today is well haha... basically because i will be getting back my bariam test results tmr morning.... i dunno how will things turn out except that i noe that wadever happens, it happens for a reason.... on saturday, the sermon went somewhere along such lines... wad will you do wen things spin so wildly out of control that u lose track of wad u r doin.... wen u come to a situation wen u face a prob bigger than any you have faced before... seriously... i feel that the worries i have for tmr are unfounded.. i mean compared to so many ppl i noe out there that face harder things daily, wad m i to say that i am at a baricade in front of me?? haha my probs seems so small...

but s[eaking of it... i guess tis feel weeks in ns where u find u have nothing to do n u r rotting away... u cant help but think bout life seriously u noe haha.... 1 thing i learnt is how fragile we r as humans... fragile not juz physically but i feel more mentally.... ahaha... but den again somehow i feel that may be how we survived so long... mayb God build us to be fragile sentimental creatures... i mean that is the difference we have compared to all other creations n come to think of it... thats how we stand out isnt it?? haha think bout it?

haha mayb its time i changed how i blogged... i guess i m now movin away from writing a blog where i tell ppl what i go thru daily.. rather... a blog where i guess i can juz talk bout thoughs instead... hopefully i can add a philosophical touch to it haha... not that anyone reads it haha... sometimes i juz feel this blog is dead haha... mayb i ought to tell more ppl bout my blog haha... which leads to another question... y do ppl blog? is it an avenue to express one's thots? or rather a platform u hope ppl will see u in your inner state which u r not brave enough to show in reality?? n wen no one bothers to read what u r hoping they will read... wad den?? haha i wonder.....

aft a short time of 2 weeks... i can say that these 2 weeks are the most painful days of my lfe... n i do mean literally as well...for those that noe y.. plz do keep hush hush bout it... ytd i went for the barium check... even now i m still feeling the effects of it though... n although i wish i dun have to go thru it again... i guess i did make the most of it... i see for once the fragility of life haha... 1 day u can be competely well... the next.. u dun noe wad will happen... althiugh there are some funny experiences...like this nyp gal i met... who happens to be doing attachment at the hospital haha... finally i meet someone who really did go on to do radiotherapy altough i rarely heard of it haha..

well the results of my result wil be out on a mth... till den i can onli wait ba.... haiz... somehow now i feel like life is really boring u noe... like veryyday i m doin the same thing over n over n over again... on weekdays i go to work... i mwwt up wif frenz... saturdays i go to church... haoz... its like my whole life revolves around tis vicious cycle... that sometimes i juz wish i can get out of this.... but i guess my life is drawn into it...i wonder if a day will come wen i can juz put down all the things i have n juz do somethin different... juz getting away from all i have here.. not caring bout anything that is...

wadever happens... i will never noe... if my life is to be such that i m walking around in a circle... i juz pray that it will be a beautiful circle...if not.... i juz wanna break free..............................................question is if that is possible.....

hey.... i m back.... ytd national day n today its finally 1 of the more relaxing weekends i havb had for the weekends..... y? becos i m finally able to juz slack at home..... on fri i went to pick nick up from the airport.. it has been a long time since i have been to the airport.. n hearin wad nick had to say about his trip, i m kinda excited to even experience such a trip of my own.... either way... guess my trip to hong kong will be my 1st independent trip ever... n if all goes well.... hopefully i will leave at oct hehe..... hmmm... ytd we also went to pray for singapoer... but wad i felt really was very meaningful was pastor daniel saying that the church had to be united... i fully agreee wif him on that one haha... i mean i don get y some ppl like to distinguish wad kind of a christian m i?? whether anglican.... or wad... i mean does it really matter??? i juz don get tis ppl sometimes u noe... the way they fight among themselves bout whose church is god n which church are not...

haha but ytd i was shocked esp wen my cell grp went to mac t lot 1 n on the way out towards church i actually ran into aisyah.... haha she told me she was goin for a wedding so thats y she was wearing the traditional malay clothing..haha actually tis was the 1st time i saw her wearing that.. cos normally wen we hanged out she always dressed very.... erm like normal lor haha... dunno hw to put it... den in the nite i ran into 1 of my junior from pj... think she in j2 now... oh n my ex classmatee... reinstating once again juz how small the world really is u noe haha.... well enough of crapping for today... tmr if all goes well i will have a seoul garden meal for half price haha.... so lets see wad happens de.. cya ppl