back to blog after an absence haha... well... i have finally reached a point where i m 2 weeks away from my pop... a term ns ppl r familiar with.... n i cant wait for the 7 of may haha... when i can finally leave hta... come to think of it i have come quite far... finally passed my law exam which is wad i will say a complete miracle... so praise god for that haha... as the sayin goes... everything that has a beginning has an end... about to leave this band of brothers n who noe wad awaits me?? with a future so uncertain as mic bay has been tellin me... i hav no idea wad lay ahead... all that i noe is that many of my past dreams lay broken n i guess i m a little lost or overwhelmed on where i m now...

guess 1 thing in life is letting go n moving on... at least i m not alone on tis... hopefully the next time i blog i wil have good news to share haha... but for now... i m juz watin,,, n hopin that drill does not kill me 1st... basically my life now is drill from morning to evening...so its pretty boring haha... but wad to do? i guess the poly ppl n jc ppl on the othetr hand r startin to step up in wad they r doin haha... whether new semester or mid yr exams haha... i feel for them lolz....

thats all this time.. i wanna watch tv now haha... a luxury i love haha.. so cya ppl...

well... ytd at church we were asked to think of what would my life be if i wasnt a christian... hmmm... while others had a lot of comments of me... i guess i couldnt help but think bout it myself... well for starters... i would probable dye my hair red haha.... ya... i always wanted to do that haha... dunno y hehe... n among others... guess mayb i will b spendin more time wif my frenz cos i will b free on sats... who noe??? i may become a clubbing freak as well haha... wonder if that is scary haha... but 1 thing i noe is that i will nvr turn to smoking hah... y??? cos i totally hate smoking... n i guess m a little allergic to it ahahaha.... but guess... if i wasnt a christian... i may never noe many of the close frenz i hav made today as a result....n who noes wad my life wif my mom would have been now?? i nvr wanna find out... well... i guess wad i can say is that life is pretty fast for me now... especially wif my preparations for uni...

but like wad mr koh say... i gotta prepare safety nets... n ya... guess i m also thinkin bout this uni in the us... called purdue... well.. i dunno if its God plans for me to leave the country... but i don wanna think bout it... i juz wanna leave everything to God to decide... juz do my best... ya... well guess thats it for now... gotta go do my last min checks for stuff... ya... n hopefully i can pass my test... damn scared bout it lah... haiz... chiong lah..

sometimes i juz wonder.... in life... how often do we get to choose n how often do we get chosen.... seems pretty complicated to me.... do i find myself drowning at times wen it des happen?
between wad i want n givin up wad i want the most... do i hav the power to act? in times of crisis... r u the person that u think u truly are?? if i were to b in danger.... do u save yourself or the one closest to u... in the end its all juz a qn of wad to do isnt it? turning to God??? turning to self? how does 1 truly determine if it is one that wil b regrettable or fruitful? m i truly growing? m i truly changing? or m i overwhelmed by it that i find myself lost in the turmoils of a lifetime..

haiz... sry... i juz needed to get those thoughts out of my head.... now bak to business... hmmm for e.g. i finally decided on a course... which is sociology... haha... yup its more of a social sci sub... many say its better to go overwseas for it... but truly i m not sure of wad kinda choice wil i make... guess still lookin about... sis wanping once asked me... do i think god wants me to go overseas... n i m still pondering over it... although i feel the ans is somewhat not wad i want to hear... but on the bright side... apart from findin out i did badly for my As... i also failed my ippt again.... grr... u noe wad... i FIRMLY PROCLAIM THAT I CANNOT JUMP FOR NUTS!!!! i accept it as a reality of life... grr.... but on the brighter side... i did well for the rest... swimming... psoc... haha n i finally got a marksman for my shootin haha... kena pressured by marvin n nic... grrr...

welll finally i bookin out on fridays haha so thats somethin to b glad bout haha.... welll thats it for now... tume to turn in haha... well nitez n cya ppl....

i didnt wanna believe it... neither did i hope that it would turn out like tis... but i guess that it had to happen eventually.... well... i screwed up my A lvls... which pretty much means uni is sorta like closed to me.... i kept askin God to giv me the strength to move on.... to understand y tis had to happen... was it a test or pure assurance that my decision 2 yrs back was a really bad one... wadever it is... gotta treat it as a lesson... well... today talked to lots of ppl bout wad can b my exit pt frm here.... but guess still haven decided yet.,... it feels like all is in a mess... like i m in this hase n movin forward... not havin the simplest idea of where is my life headed... i guess i m also too tired to think.... nw juz takin things 1 step at a time.... 1 thing i hold on to is this statement...
y do we fall??? so that we can pick ourself up again.... even though i m nt sure how to do it... i sure m goona try... i juz pray i wil hav the strength to stand n not run away..... these thots echoing in my head.... wen r they gonna stop?? i got no idea... guess till i finally fu=ind a solution...i guess tis sayin is thru den... i gotta change... its not who i m underneath... but wad i do that defines me... how true tis is.... n i guess tis is where my life will b headed.............outcome=unknown............................................

haiz... life is becomin so routine and boring lately... i cant begin to explain it... well...ytd at church i learnt wwsd... known as what would satan do haha.... so its like cool... n i felt i learnt a little somethin.... n once again goin into camp again.... aft all these times i guess i m juz becomin to lazy to blog sinc like i got no creative juices haha... so yup... forget it.... later my blog bedcome like evan haha.... who noes... finally gone thru bout 1/2 of my bmt... so ya that is somethin to b happy about....
welll huess that is all i wanna share bout tis time haha.. got some matters really gotta think bout now... juz hope i will make the right ones haha... anyway... nick is finally at shanghai haha so all e best dude... well cya ppl...

well finally another week has passed... n another week closer to the big day... the A lvl results haha... once again tis week i m 18cm away from passing my ippt... grrr... after passin pull ups... now i m stuck at tis point for the 2nd week,.... i really dunno how to pass my sbj lah... cant jump for nuts!!! haiz...

anyway... enough of tis complainin... so i shall move on to valentines day haha... well.... tis is my 1st vdae that i spend in camp wif a whole bunch of guys... so everyone keep saboing each other lah like asking around if anyone got say happy valentines to a gal... haha... den sabo by snatching away the hp... grrr... chan jing actually snatched my hp lah.... n did somethin wif it haha... on sat at church... i was seriously tryin to stay awake durin sermon... thanks to rt in the morning... but i m glad i did... cos i learnt so much abt prayer lolz... yup... in the end... its yr intentions that matters haha.... in the nite... i had to leave earlier cos got guests in my hse haha... so i became the water boy... serving ppl drinks... cleanin up the mess haha... well the things the host will do for his beloved guests lolz... either way... i m really glad that i managed to b a good host n meet my relatives haha... tonite goin back in for another whole week... i really pray that i can finally pass my ippt so i can go home on FRI!!!!!! haiz... but i guess its up to his will... yup.... as my fren jerome always says... its all in God's plan... haha

well thats all for today... to all e ppl havin exams... all e best n strive hard ya!!!! haha... n all a lvl results ppl... God bless lol... cya!!

hmmm happy chinese new yr ppl... well today went for church hse visiting... but b4 that for service... we watched a movie called a freewheel or somethin... basically bout a old car salesman who was lost but found his way back wif God... the ppl in the movie were e same ppl frm the movie facing e giants... like e main character... i gotta tell u... tis movie really touched me and i guess it was a prayer answered by God bcos well as mich bay say today... i was well facin a crisis bout church....

mic bay cleared my doubts wen she said e whole church was under an attack where ppl were tired of comin 2 church... that was y we had the 12 midnite prayer thingy... she said our cell alone had 3-4 ppl... i knew iwas 1 of them... but i cant figure out who r the rest... juz gotta pray hard... the movie i guess showed a reflection of me... n i thing i came away frm it was that doin things my way got my kinda results... but God's way were better... n that our choices in life etermine the state i m now... whether full or empty... but wad really hit home was the statement that sometimes its not that we cant hear the word of God... but rather that we choose not to accept it as it contradicts wif our way of life... haiz... i decided to make the change... now i onli hope i can really hold on to that thought...

well enough of that... aft that we went to nick n shi feng hse... it was there that we really had a lot of fun... oli n yun mei n yanni were super afraid of nick dog lah... while mic bay was playin wif the dogs like they belongd to her haha... all i can say is that she was a true blue pro at it haha.... n i could see they had a lot of fun... like how gladys n lora juz kept eating n eating n eating haha...

aft that at shi feng hse... we had another round of food haha... by den we were pretty full lol...the best part was that the parents didnt allow us to leave unless we finished e food lolz... den they llocked us in e hse!!! to go for dinner haha... but well ya.... shi feng did hav the key... we watched the movie notebook for a while b4 we left haha... without finishing the food lolz...

aft that me n nick went to hav dinner at cafe cartel at bpp.... haiz the lagsagne there was terribel... but well at least we got free flow of bread haha... on e way home... i witnessed a scene... got policemen n an ambulance... all i saw was a man halfnaked on the floor though... n bloodied... wonder wad happened to him... cant wait to experience this life myself once i graduate..hehe...

well that was all today... this chinese new yr passed really fast... n that marks almost the end of my longest hol... next up is good fri... that is i will onli enjoy if i do well for my a lvl result... my future deoends on it... i juz pray really hard for a miracle... well... thats all today... take care ppl n for the poly ppl... jia you!!! n nick... juz in case... a good farewell n soar high in china!!! u will nt b forgotten haha... byeee!!!